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The Adventures of Herbert 'Daring' Dashwood and his Ghoul Manservant Argyle

FO76 publicteam xpd.pngFor the transcripts of Galaxy News Radio, see Galaxy News Radio.

The Adventures of Herbert 'Daring' Dashwood and his Ghoul Manservant Argyle is a radio drama played on Galaxy News Radio in Fallout 3.

Background

Produced by Three Dog, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood shares that the plays were created in the style of those before the Great War.[1] They are often played and became a favorite program across the Capital Wasteland.[Pub 1] In game, the four episodes below are played in a loop.

Segments

Escape from Paradise Falls!

Transcript.png

Dashwood: You're listening to the adventures of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle! Today's episode - escape from Paradise Falls!
Argyle: So little faith, boss. I could disarm this Slaver junk with my eyes closed. One second... <click!> there! Now for yours... stand still! <click!>
Dashwood: Argyle, you magnificent bastard! You did it!
Argyle: Don't thank me yet, boss. We still need to get out of here. Let's go! While the guard's away from the front gate!
Dashwood: Not so fast, my flesh-rotten friend! That girl we came in with. We're the only chance she's got. Come on!
Argyle: Sigh. Always with the dames.
<Sound of movement, huffing and puffing>
Dashwood: All right. She's locked in there. They call it... "the box." First, we need to remove that guard...
Argyle: Allow me. <walking> Hey fella, got a light?
Slaver: Huh?
Argyle: Lotus... kick! Yieee!! Ugh!
Dashwood: Ha ha! Now, the door.
Argyle: Child's play, boss. <click> <sound of opening door> Okay lady, you're rescued. Now let's get out of... What? Boss, it's empty!
Slaver: Hands up, chumps. Nobody escapes from Paradise Falls. Now let's move back to the pen, nice and slow, before...
Penelope: Drop the steel, you Slaver scumbag. <sound of a hit> You boys all right? I busted out of that box and was almost home free when I noticed your predicament.
Argyle: Wait a minute! We do the rescuing around here, sister.
Dashwood: Now, now, Argyle! No need to be hasty. We owe this young lady our thanks. Miss...
Penelope: Penelope Chase, fortune hunter. You can buy me a beer later. Now let's cut this shindig short and get the bloody hell out of here! Come on!
Dashwood: Argyle, old friend. I think I'm in love...
<closing music>
Dashwood: Be sure and tune in next time, for another exciting adventure of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle!

Super Mutant Mayhem!

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Dashwood: You're listening to the adventures of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle! Today's episode - Super Mutant Mayhem!
<sounds of gunfire>
Argyle: Ha! That'll teach those Slaver slimebags to follow us. Looks like that's the last of them, boss.
<sound of walking over gravel>
Dashwood: So, Ms. Chase... How did you come to be, ahh... "held up" in Paradise Falls?
Penelope: My friends call me Penelope, and let's just say those Slavers don't take too kindly to people disrupting their caravans. And by "disrupt" I mean "blow up."
Dashwood: Ha! Now that's what this Wasteland needs - more women with spunk and explosives! So tell me, Penelope, what's the next stop on...
Super mutant: Stupid human! Shut up now! <sound of guns cocking> You come with us now!
Argyle: Super Mutants!
Penelope: Out of the frying pan...
Dashwood: Now see here, you hulking horrors! This young lady has been through quite enough for one day! Holster your weapons or...
Penelope: Why is your Ghoul friend picking their pockets? This is no time for sticky fingers, Daring!
Dashwood: It's not what he's taking out my dear, but rather what he's putting in. Duck and Covveerrr!
<loud explosions>
Argyle: Heh heh. The old "Shady Sands Shuffle." It sure brings me back. You two smoothskins okay?
Penelope: My my, Argyle. You are rather resourceful for a Ghoul, aren't you?
Dashwood: Are you kidding, my dear? Argyle has saved my skin more times than I care to remember. I hardly know how I got by before I met him.
Argyle: With all due respect, boss - you didn't. If you remember, it was me who got you out of that little "situation" in...
Dashwood: Ahh, now, Argyle old chum. Let's not, um, bore the beautiful Miss Chase with those ancient exploits.
Penelope: Oh, I don't know, Daring. For example, that name of yours. I happen to like "Herbert." Why the...
<sound of a child screaming>
Argyle: Boss, that sounds like a kid screaming! And it's coming from those ruins!
Dashwood: Quite right, old Chum. Save those questions, Miss Chase. If we survive what happens next, I may even answer them!
Dashwood: Be sure and tune in next time, for another exciting adventure of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle!

In the Black Widow's Web!

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Dashwood: You're listening to the adventures of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle! Today's episode In the Black Widow's Web!
Dashwood: Well, those Super Mutants are persistent if nothing else! A word of advice - keep running!
Penelope: In those hills up there! Isn't that where the hidden village of Rockopolis is located? If only we knew where it was...
Dashwood: Turns out you're in good company, Miss Chase. Argyle and I are old friends of Rockopolis. Know the secret knock and everything!
Argyle: Boss! That's privileged information! You can't just...
Dashwood: Now now, old chum! Miss Chase is hardly going to violate the secrets of Rockopolis. Isn't that right, Miss Chase? Besides, necessity calls!
Penelope: So you do know where it is! Well come on then, those Super Mutants can't be far behind!
Dashwood: Just over here! This large boulder! And now... the secret knock. And... voila!
Penelope: Now that's what I call a getaway, Daring! So tell me, do you take all your girlfriends here?
Dashwood: Oh, no, Miss Chase! I can assure you, this will be our special place.
Argyle: Listen to yourself, boss! This is Rockopolis! One of the safest places in the Wasteland, and you just showed a stranger where it is!
Dashwood: Ignore my manservant's mutterings, Penelope. He has a penchant for the dramatic you see. Why one time...
Penelope: Oh, I don't know, Daring darling. I find the ghoul's instincts to be... frighteningly accurate.
Dashwood: Here I thought we were friends. And now you have a gun in my face. Bad form, Miss Chase. Bad form.
Penelope: Jabber all you want. In about 30 seconds, my associates from Paradise Falls will join us.
Argyle: I knew it! I knew this dame was no good! But it's worse than I thought. She's the Black Widow! The leader of the Slavers!
Penelope: Quite right. We've been trying to capture these Rockopolis rodents for years. Never could have done it without you, Daring.
Dashwood: Looks like I've gotten us into one heck of a pickle, Argyle old chum. One heck of a pickle indeed...
Dashwood: Be sure and tune in next time, for another exciting adventure of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle!

Between Rockopolis and a Hard Place!

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Dashwood: You're listening to the adventures of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle! Today's episode - Between Rockopolis and a Hard Place!
Penelope: Just ease away, zombie. No funny business...
Argyle: Funny business? Miss Chase, you hurt my feelings. I mean, there ain't nothin' funny about... the Eagle Clawwww!!!
Penelope: Aggghhhh!
Dashwood: Good God, Argyle! You... You ripped out her heart!
Argyle: Ah, I always knew this broad was heartless. Get it, boss? Heartless?
Dashwood: Your kung fu skills may be unparalleled, old chum, but your comic delivery leaves something to be desired...
King Crag: What is the meaning of this?!
Dashwood: Oh magnificent King Crag, fearless leader of Rockopolis! It's me, Daring! Daring Dashwood?
King Crag: Herbert Dashwood? Ugh... I should have known. But who is this... this dead woman? And... is that her... heart?
Argyle: She's the least of your worries, Craggy. In a few seconds, the Slavers are gonna be breaking down your rocky front door!
King Crag: Slavers? You led the Slavers here? To Rockopolis? You idiots! Do you realize what you've done!
Dashwood: Inspired you to tighten your defenses?
King Crag: Dashwwwooooddd!
Argyle: Warm welcome's over boss! Time to scram!
King Crag: Citizens of Rockopolis! Destroy these interlopers!
Dashwood: This way, Argyle! Into the caves! It's our only chance! (sound of running)
Argyle: They're gaining on us boss! That cliff up ahead - you think you can jump it? You ain't as spry as you used to be...
Dashwood: Child's play, you withering worry wort! Watch... tthhiiss. Woooaaaahhh!!
Argyle: Boss! Don't worry, I'm coming!
Dashwood: Best hurry, old chum... I can't hang on... much longer... I think this could be the end... of...
Dashwood: Be sure and tune in next time, for another exciting adventure of me, Herbert "Daring" Dashwood, and my stalwart Ghoul manservant Argyle!

Appearances

The Adventures of Herbert Daring Dashwood appears in Fallout 3.

References

  1. Lone Wanderer: "You mentioned something about GNR?"
    Herbert "Daring" Dashwood: "Haven’t you ever heard the radio play? The Adventures of Herbert "Daring" Dashwood? That guy at the radio station put it together a few years ago. He did it in the style of those shows they had before the war. Came out pretty well. And it’s all true! Rockopolis, Miss Chase... All of it. Of course, they do portray me as a bit of a chump. Argyle may have saved my hide more than once, but I had my moments. Ah, those were the days..."
    (Herbert Dashwood's dialogue)
Publications
  1. Fallout 3 Official Game Guide/Wasteland Census p.76: "Herbert "Daring" Dashwood: His exploits are often played on Galaxy News Radio. "The Adventures of Herbert 'Daring' Dashwood and his Ghoul Manservant Argyle" is a favorite program across the Capital Wasteland."