GOAT



G.O.A.T. or Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test is a test that every vault dweller (or at least every inhabitant of Vault 101) has to take at the age of 16. It's meant to figure out what sort of a job the person is best suited for in the vault. It is a combination of written and oral exam. Its own proctors tend to doubt its effectiveness and some even will allow students to alter their GOATS or even allow them to skip the test with the Proctor making up a dummy GOAT proving they took it.

Game mechanics
In Fallout 3, during the quest Future Imperfect, as part of G.O.A.T., the game asks the player questions about how he might act in certain situations and based on the responses it determines the job the Vault 101 Dweller is best suited for based on that, advises which 3 skills he or she should tag.

The Questions
Here are the Questions, the answers, and what skill each counts towards tagging.

Question 1 You are approached by a frenzied vault scientist who yells "I'm going to put my quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber!" what do you do?
 * 1 "But doctor, wouldn't that cause a parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity?" - Science
 * 2 "Yeah? Up yours too, buddy!" - Speech
 * 3 Say nothing, but grab a nearby pipe and hit the scientist in the head to knock him out. For all you knew, he was planning on blowing up the vault. - Melee
 * 4 Say nothing, but slip away before the scientist can continue his rant. - Sneak

Question 2 While working as an intern in the clinic, a patient with a strange infection on his foot stumbles through the door. The infection is spreading at an alarming rate, but the doctor has stepped out for a while.
 * 1 Amputate the foot before the infection spreads - Melee
 * 2 Scream for help - Speech
 * 3 Medicate the infected area to the best of your abilities - Medicine
 * 4 Restrain the patient, and merely observe as the infection spreads - Science

Question 3  You discover a young boy lost in the lower levels of the vault. He's frightened and hungry, but also appears to be in possession of stolen property. What do you do?
 * 1 Give the boy a hug and tell him everything will be ok - Speech
 * 2 Confiscate the property by force, and leave him there as punishment - Unarmed
 * 3 Pick the boy's pocket to take the stolen property for yourself, and leave the boy to his fate - Sneak
 * 4 Lead the boy to safety, Then turn him over to the overseer - Nothing

Question 4 Congratulations! You made one of the vault 101 baseball teams! Which position do you prefer?
 * 1 Pitcher - Explosives
 * 2 Catcher - Big Guns (possibly in reference to the recoil anything in the 'Big Guns' category would posses)
 * 3 Designated Hitter - Melee
 * 4 None, you wish the vault had a soccer team - Unarmed

Question 5 Your Grandmother invites you to tea, but you're surprised when she gives you a pistol and orders you to kill another vault resident. What do you do?
 * 1 Obey your elder and kill the vault resident with the pistol - Small Guns
 * 2 Offer your most prized possession in exchange for the vault resident's life - Barter
 * 3 Ask for a minigun instead. After all, you don't want to miss. - Big Guns
 * 4 Throw your tea in granny's face. - Explosives (Guess it was gunpowder tea.)

Question 6 Old Mr. Abernathy has locked himself in his quarters again, and you've been ordered to get him out. How do you proceed?
 * 1 Use a bobby pin to pick the lock on the door - Lockpicking
 * 2 Trade a vault hoodlum for his cherry bomb and blow open the lock. - Explosives AND Barter
 * 3 Go to the armory, retreive a laser pistol, and blow the lock off. - Energy Weapons
 * 4 Just walk away and let the old coot rot. - Sneak

Question 7 Oh no! You've been exposed to radiation, and a mutated hand has grown out of your stomach! Whats the best course of treatment?
 * 1 Bullet to the brain - Small guns
 * 2 Large Doses of anti-mutagen agent - Medicine
 * 3 Prayer, Maybe God will spare you in exchange for a life of pious devotion? - Barter
 * 4 Removal of the mutated tissue with a precision laser - Energy Weapons

Question 8 A fellow Vault 101 resident is in possession of a Grognak the Barbarian comic book, issue number 1. You want it. Whats the best way to obtain it?
 * 1 Trade the comic book for one of your own valuable possessions - Barter
 * 2 Steal the comic book at gunpoint - Small guns
 * 3 Sneak into the resident's quarters, and steal the comic book from his desk - Sneak
 * 4 Slip some knock out drops into the resident's Nuka Cola, and take the comic book when he's unconscious. - Medicine

Question 9 You decide it would be fun to play a prank on your father. You enter his private restroom when no one is looking, and....
 * 1 Loosen some bolts on the sink. When the sink is turned on, the room will flood. - Repair
 * 2 Put a firecracker in the toilet. Thats sure to cause some chaos - Explosives
 * 3 Break into the locked medicine cabinet and replace his high blood pressure medication with sugar pills - Sneak
 * 4 Manipulate the power wattage on his razor, so he'll get an electric shock next time he uses it - Lockpick.

Question 10 Who is indisputably the most important person in Vault 101: He who shelters us from the harshness of the atomic wasteland, and to whom we owe everything we have including our lives? - This question has no standing on your TAG skills, Nor the test results, and appears to be on the G.O.A.T simply as propaganda
 * 1 The Overseer. - N/A
 * 2 The Overseer. - N/A
 * 3 The Overseer. - N/A
 * 4 The Overseer. - N/A

The version that appears on the Prepare for the Future website (Channel 5) only has questions #2, #5, and #7.

The Results
The results are determined by a very simple formula: Each of the above questions (Minus #10 obviously) adds 1 "point" towards the skill it represents. The skill with the most "points" at the end of the test is your result.

The results are as follows:

Vault Chaplain "They say the G.O.A.T never lies. According to this, you're slated to be the next vault ... Chaplain. God help us all."
 * Prevalent skill: Barter

Laundry Cannon Operator "Well according to this, you're in line to be trained as a laundry cannon operator. First time for everything indeed."
 * Prevalent skill: Big Guns

Pedicurist "It's nice to know I can still be surprised. Pedicurist! I might have guessed Manicurist, or even Masseuse. But apparently you're foot person"
 * Prevalent skill: Energy Weapons

Waste Management Specialist "It says here you're perfectly suited for a career as a Waste Management Specialist. A specialist, mind you, not just a dabbler. Congratulations!"
 * Prevalent skill: Explosives

Vault Loyalty Inspector "Huh. "Vault Loyalty Inspector"... I thought that had been phased out decades ago. Well, sounds like a job right up your alley, hmm?"
 * Prevalent skill: Lockpick

Clinical Test Subject "Interesting. "Clinical Test Subject"... sounds like something you should excel at. I guess you and your dad will be working together."
 * Prevalent skill: Medicine

Fry Cook "Looks like the diner's going to get a new Fry Cook. I'll just say this once: hold the mustard, extra pickles. Ha ha ha."
 * Prevalent skill: Melee Weapons

Jukebox Technician "Thank goodness. We're finally getting a new Jukebox Technician. That thing hasn't worked right since old Joe Palmer passed."
 * Prevalent skill: Repair

Pip-Boy Programmer "Well, well. Pip-Boy Programmer, eh? Stanley will finally have someone to talk shop with."
 * Prevalent skill: Science

Tattoo Artist "Huh. I wonder who will be brave enough to be your first customer as the vault's new Tattoo Artist? I promise it won't be me."
 * Prevalent skill: Small Guns

Shift Supervisor "Apparently you're management material. You're going to be trained as a Shift Supervisor. Could I be talking to the next Overseer? Stranger things have happened."
 * Prevalent skill: Sneak

Marriage Councilor "Wow. Wow. Says here you're going to be the vault's Marriage Counselor. Almost makes me want to get married, just to be able to avail myself of your services."
 * Prevalent skill: Speech

Little League Coach "I always thought you'd have a career in professional sports. You're the new vault Little League coach! Congratulations."
 * Prevalent skill: Unarmed (Male)

Masseuse "Looks like you'll be putting your ... physical talents to good use as the vault's new Masseuse."
 * Prevalent skill: Unarmed (Female)

*******************Easter Egg*************************

If you if use a bb gun and shoot the black guy sitting at he desk after you've taken the test, he will loudly shout his rights as a black person, soil himself and faint. When he faints pickpocket him and you will find 300 caps, a magnum 44. with scope, a sheep porn magazine and a frozen turd. If you give the frozen turd alone to Amata she will say "Now If I can just get some hardcore sheep porn I'll be in for a good time." Then hand her the sheep porn magazine and you will receive 120 good karma. She will jump in delight and drop her private restroom key then sprint of down the hall. Pick up the key and If you can run fast enough she'll barge through Butch and his friends and into her private rest room. A few seconds later high pitched moans will be heard, use your key to open the door to view this disturbing scene of Amata violently thrusting her fingers up her soft wet pussy. When she sees you she will immiedietly pull out a 9mm pistol and blow her brains out. You can then spend all the time you want staring at her naked dead body with a dirty farm animal magazine next to her.

Now, did that turn you on? Did it make you think? Did I waste 70 seconds of your time? I think not.....

-NEONZA

Related quests

 * Future Imperfect

Appearances
G.O.A.T. appears only in Fallout 3.

It also appears on the Prepare for the Future website, but it only has 3 questions