Gold Ribbon Grocers

 is a store on Jury St, just northwest of Jury Street Metro Station. It is part of a small Easter Egg involving a Rube Goldberg machine.

Unmarked quest: Rube's Gold Ribbon


The entire store appears to have been set up as a Rube Goldberg machine, using pressure plates, a long row of boxes, several traps and explosions. Your reward for setting off the Machine is a few missiles, a mini nuke, Nikola Tesla and You and Tumblers Today. The back half of the store will ignite in a gas leak during the display. For this reason it is suggested not to grab the many boxes of Sugar Bombs and Abraxo Cleaner until after the Machine has completed.

Setup
Follow the arrows to a...
 * Pressure plate triggering log-with-skull
 * ...triggering a long line of Abraxo Cleaner, Detergent, and Sugar Bombs as dominoes
 * ...triggering a Pressure Plate
 * ...triggering a Pitching Machine
 * ...that eventually pushes down a fire extinguisher on a Bear Trap
 * ...which explodes, causing a Grenade Bouquet to fall
 * ...setting fire to the gas cloud, which will seek its way to the second floor
 * ...shaking a kid's slider to drop its contents down the hole!

Light Step
Players with the "Light Step" perk can't set off the initial pressure plate by stepping on it. Instead, pick up the paperweight on the counter next to the cash register and just drop it on the pressure plate. Alternatively, activating the back part of the log-with-skull (using the activate button, obviously) will also trigger the domino.

If you do not get the full show and you have Autosave on, try reloading the Autosave where you came in the front door. This has been seen to set off the chain reaction, for unknown reasons. (see Bugs)

Activating the slide manually
You do not have to activate the machine to access the slide and its goodies. In fact you can get in to the second level of the grocery store in 3 simple steps. 1) stack FOUR milk crates, in any formation, on to the three broken refrigerators that are by the counter. It doesn't matter how you organize them up there yet, just put them there for step 3. 2) Jump up on the edge of the counter and position yourself so that you are facing the hole in the ceiling that is directly between the counters edge and the three broken refrigerators that have your crates on them. 3) Now jump from the counter to the top edge of the three broken refrigerators and simply stack all four crates on the corner of the left fridge so that they stack up to the hole in the ceiling. You should now be able to jump up on the crates and access the top floor. There are invisible walls around the slide that will keep you from walking directly up to it but you can throw a grenade under it and watch its contents spill out to the floor below.
 * If you do not ignite the gas in the room, your grenade will ignite it and you'll take a little fire damage. This method should only be used if you're either curious about getting up to the top floor or if the initial triggering of the machine failed to yield your skill books or all the rockets. Sometimes they'll get stuck on the bottom of the slide and require a little push from an explosive.

Reward

 * Nikola Tesla and You
 * Tumblers Today
 * 3 Missiles
 * One Mini-Nuke
 * Boxes of Sugar Bombs and Abraxo Cleaner

Bugs

 * The Machine will not complete correctly on Easy level (at least on the PS3, works fine on 360), probably because the explosions are less powerful. If you exit the store and reenter, the skeleton falls with all the goodies. You may have to use some frag grenades to expose all of the items. You can also jump from the counter onto the top of the broken cases and place two of the boxes on the floor on top of each other then jump up to the top floor before activating the 'machine'. It may take practice as the boxes sometimes move but you can get up there. Also, when up there, you cant move very close to the slide so it is recommended that if you are to jump up there, jump up before activating it.
 * Loading from inside the store -- even the entrance Autosave -- will often cause all the boxes to instantly fall as soon as any are touched, requiring the player to step on the next pressure plate to continue.
 * After setting off the trap, bright lights have been seen flashing on the outside windows. It does not seem like a bug but is classified as so.
 * Occasionally the bear trap is not armed when entering the store, causing the machine to fail. Rearm the bear trap, then set off the machine.
 * Upon exiting the store, your game may occasionally freeze up.

YouTube Videos
Demonstration: -gmMKjtCxAw