Speeches of John Henry Eden

What follows are transcripts of speeches of President John Henry Eden on Enclave Radio.

Speech 1 – Let’s Talk About Government
Hello again, America the magnificent. This is President Eden. And I was hoping we could talk. Let's talk about government, shall we. Or more specifically, your government, dear America. The Enclave. Just who is the Enclave? Why, now that's simple, the Enclave is you, America. The Enclave is your sister, your aunt, your friend, your, your neighbor. And well yes, the Enclave is me as well, heh heh, uh hah. As your president, it is my responsibility to preside over our great democracy. So, as your president, I am the voice, I am the heart, and soul of the Enclave. That is to say, I am the voice, heart, and soul of America. But only together, together, can we hope to reach our full potential. The way we were before the war. Whole. Beautiful. Powerful. One Enclave, One America. Now and Forever. And now, dearest America, we must say farewell. For there is much work to be done, and the Enclave never rests. Never. Until we meet again, this is your president, John Henry Eden, signing off.

Speech 2 – Baseball
Hello again America, this is John Henry Eden, your president. There are some things we should talk about, if that’s alright. I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about something we can all relate to. Something that is, unquestionably, inescapably, American. I am referring of course, to our great national pastime, baseball. Or so it had been. That’s right America, before we were devastated by atomic war, each state had it’s own professional baseball team. Imagine, a perfect, cloudless day, the sun is warm, welcoming. And on the horizon they appear. Like knights of yore, armed with bats of ash and hickory. Their name, the Capital Congressmen, their purpose, to make you, dear America, revel in the joys of sport and sunshine. If only for an afternoon. Now, ask yourself this. What if the Capital Congressmen could live again? What if they could compete with baseball teams from Pennsylvania or Maryland? Put your faith in John Henry Eden, great America, and baseball will live again. Comfort, recreation, healthy competition. All will live again. This country will live again. But for now, my America, we must part. Restoring the greatest country in the world to its former glory, well, huh huh, well that takes time, even for the Enclave. Until we meet again, this is John Henry Eden, signing off.

Speech 3 – Rebuild The Capital Wasteland
Greetings, dearest America. This is your president, John Henry Eden, let’s chat, shall we. We live in an age of poverty, greed, violence, destruction. Indeed the very seed of the federal government, Washington D.C., has been reduced to what is now known as the Capital Wasteland. The Capital Wasteland, how did it come to this America? How did your leaders allow the most powerful nation on Earth to die? The answer is really quite simple. Incompetence. Incompetence at the highest echelons of power. We put our trust, our faith, in halfwits. Our intrepid leaders had everything they wanted; power, wealth, prestige. It made them lazy America. Oh yes, and laziness breeds stupidity. Rest assured, I will not make the mistakes of my predecessors. When John Henry Eden builds a country, he builds it to last. The American Way. Don’t you, my darling America, deserve that? Don’t you deserve a future free of war, and fear, and terrible uncertainty? Of course you do. As President of the United States, you have my solemn pledge. That I will never rest, never rest, until we have we have what we deserve. A place to truly call… Home. But for now, my America, we must part. Restoring the greatest country in the world to its former glory, well, huh huh, well that takes time, even for the Enclave. Until we meet again, this is John Henry Eden, signing off.

Speech 4 – The Colonel’s Restoration
Sweet America, hello again, this is President Eden. I’d like to have a chat. The Enclave is back, America. Ah, no, not just on your radio. Right now Enclave troops are patrolling the Capital Wasteland. These fine men and women, under the command of the stalwart Colonel, Augustus Autumn, have one mission: The restoration of American peace and order. But let’s hear from the man himself, shall we America? I give you Colonel Augustus Autumn.

Colonel Autumn: Thank you Mr. President. People of the Capital Wasteland, I am Colonel Autumn. By now, you have encountered Enclave troops in your towns, in your settlements. When you see the Enclave, you see the United States Government. We are authorized to restore order and civility, by any means necessary. Just stay out of the way and let us do our job. Interfere with the Enclave’s mission, and you will be dealt with, harshly.

Very good Colonel, heh, very good. So, there you have it, my darling America. Enclave troops are now in your neighborhoods, in your lives, in your hearts. Together, we’ll restore the glory of this great nation. One problem at a time. So remember America, the Enclave is working around the clock, to return this country to greatness. All you need is a little patience, a little faith. Until next time, this is your president, John Henry Eden, signing off.

Speech 5 – My Presidency
Hello, my beautiful America. This is President Eden, and it’s time we had a talk. It’s time we discussed something rather important. The issue at hand is, well, my presidency. The question has been raised, I know, as to just how I came to be elected to this most illustrious office. Or whether or not I had been elected at all. To that I must answer; of course. Of course I was elected, sweet America, of course. Isn’t the right to vote the very foundation of a democracy? Unfortunately, in the interest of national security, I am not at liberty to discuss the details of the election, you understand. But rest assured, I am your president because the appropriate people of this great nation decided I should be. I am your duly elected representative. Of course, when the time comes, when my term is up, America will be free to elect a new president. And that person will have our full faith and confidence, and carry our collective values forward into the future. Democracy, dear America. Democracy now, and forever. We’ve got to part now, you and I, but don’t be sad America. The Enclave is working tirelessly, to rebuild this great nation, so you don’t have to. Until we meet again, this is John Henry Eden, signing off.

Speech 6 – Children of the Wasteland
Sweet America, hello again, this is President Eden. I’d like to have a chat. When I was a child, growing up in rural Kentucky, I had the best friend a boy could hope for. My dear old dog, Honey. Oh ho ho, the adventures we had. From Knob Creek to Hodgenville we roamed, carefree and courageous. Irresponsible, and completely inseparable. It was, for a little boy, the perfect existence. So, let me ask you America. How many of your children can say the same? How many of this nation’s youth are truly happy, truly carefree? Well, we both know the answer, don’t we? None. America’s children live in a terrifying, meaningless existence. There is no hope, no happiness. That changes, right here, right now! From this moment onward, the children of this great nation are its highest priority. The Enclave will restore every American school, reinstate every youth program, and offer counseling and financial assistance to any family in need. We will match up the destitute orphan children of the Capital Wasteland with qualified, eligible adults. We will rebuild the American family. As it was, as it was meant to be. The values of our past shall be the foundation of our future. We’ve got to part now, you and I, but don’t be sad America. The Enclave is working tirelessly, to rebuild this great nation, so you don’t have to. Until we meet again, this is President Eden, signing off.

Speech 7 – Water, Water Everywhere
Sweet America, hello again, this is President Eden. I’d like to have a chat. You’re thirsty, aren’t you America? Not for knowledge, or power, no, I’m not speaking metaphorically. You’re thirsty for clean, fresh water. Water is the foundation of life. But here, in the Capital Wasteland, indeed, in the entire country, water is polluted. Irradiated. Deadly. Maybe you’ve got a makeshift purifier that cleans one glass of dirty water a day, or, or you sip from an ancient faucet in an abandoned subway restroom. But that’s not really living, is it? You’re simply existing, America. Postponing death for a day or two. Well, I’m gonna tell you, right here right now, those days are at an end. The Enclave is back America, we’ve brought clean water with us! For years, Enclave scientists have been hard at work on the most ambitious scientific endeavor the world has ever seen. Project Purity. Imagine America, millions, millions of gallons of water made fresh, clean, and completely pure. In a matter of minutes, and it’s all for you. Just a little bit more time, that’s all we need, and the purifier is ready for continual operation. And then, your thirst will truly be quenched. So, celebrate, sing out “America is back! America is beautiful!”

Speech 8 – Let’s Take a Tally
Hello, my beautiful America. This is President Eden, and it’s time we had a talk. Did you know, there are those amongst us who would shatter our hopes of peace, order, and security. These radical malcontents don’t care about you, they don’t care about America! All they care about is fulfilling their own selfish desires. Let’s take a tally of these agitators, shall we. There are of course, the raiders. Those anarchistic ruffians who roam the wastes, preying on any and all, stealing, murdering. The so called Brotherhood of Steel. Don’t be fooled by their pseudo-knightly nonsense or supposed connections to the United States Army. These power armored Boy Scouts are nothing more than common criminals with access to some antiquated technology. Criminals, who have had the audacity to claim this country’s most important military installation, the Pentagon, as their own personal club house. And don’t be fooled America, those who have left the Brotherhood of Steel, branded Outcasts, are just as dangerous. Even more so, being in exile. And what about the slavers of Paradise Falls? The frighteningly irradiated ghouls of Underworld. And last but not least, the hideously mutated super mutants, that have completely overrun the entire downtown D.C. area. Lawlessness, terror, murder. Their all around us, I know, I know. But not for long, sweet America. Not for long. Oh, no. The Enclave will restore peace, order, and prosperity, to this great nation. And those who oppose us will be removed, forever. But for now, my America, we must part. Restoring the greatest country in the world to its former glory, well, huh huh, well that takes time, even for the Enclave. Until we meet again, this is your president, John Henry Eden, signing off.

Speech 9 – We Are at War
We stand now, at the precipice. A great nation once more threatens to crumble, to topple into the sea of lawlessness and despair that have ruled us all for over two hundred years. In short, my dearest America, we are at war. Even as I speak these words, fearless Enclave soldiers are fortifying their positions at the great water purifier. Bracing for an inevitable assault. The Brotherhood of Steel, in their arrogance, has claimed Project Purity as their own. They would steal the Enclave’s work. Steal America’s water. It’s only a matter of time before the traitors march on the purifier, and attempt to take it by force. Let them come. Wave upon, traitorous wave will crash upon the Enclave’s walls. The Brotherhood of Steel will fail. All those who oppose the Enclave will fail. I am President John Henry Eden, and this is my pledge: No one, No one will take this great nation away from me! God Bless the Enclave. God Bless America.

Quirks & Variations

 * The opening lines of speeches, where President Eden introduces himself occasionally change to one of four other introductions.


 * The radio may also insert one of The Inspirational Quotes of John Henry Eden immediately prior to one of his speeches, however this is completely random, as are several other small elements of his broadcasts.