Hctyphon.msg

{100}{}{You see an old ghoul.} {101}{}{You see Typhon, son of Set.} {102}{}{You see an old ghoul with intelligence fairly gleaming from his eyes.} {103}{}{Howdy there, kiddo, and welcome to the Old Ghouls' Home!} {104}{}{Nol Ghul?} {105}{}{Old Ghouls' Home?} {106}{}{Who are you?} {107}{}{Hey, you ever heard of a GECK?} {108}{}{Bye.} {109}{}{Another waste-baby, huh? Hey, kid, you want to know a secret?} {110}{}{Yeh!} {111}{}{Nuh uh.} {112}{}{Back in my running days, I won quite a few races, made quite a bit of cash. Long time ago, I stashed all of my winnings not too far from here. If someone was t'do me a favor or two, I might tell 'em where that "treasure" is.} {113}{}{Tell!} {114}{}{No care.} {115}{}{What kind of treasure?} {116}{}{What kind of favor?} {117}{}{I had other questions.} {118}{}{Bye!} {119}{}{Heh. All right, then. I ain't got nothin' for you. Go on, git.} {120}{}{Bye.} {121}{}{Kid, y'got to do me a favor, first.} {122}{}{Okey!} {123}{}{Nuh uh!} {124}{}{What is it?} {125}{}{Forget it.} {126}{}{I'm an old guy, an' I don't get out too much. Ain't got much chance for action, y'know what I mean? So what I want is a Cat's Paw magazine. Find me one.} {127}{}{'Ere! [give Cat's Paw to Typhon]} {128}{}{Okey!} {129}{}{Nuh!} {130}{}{Here you go. [give Cat's Paw to Typhon]} {131}{}{All right. I'll be back.} {132}{}{Forget it.} {133}{}{Thanks for the mag, kid. Let me get back to you in an hour or so.} {134}{}{Okay!} {135}{}{I ain't done yet, kid! Sheesh! Can't an old ghoul have his privacy?} {136}{}{-done-} {137}{}{What kind o' treasure? Money, kid, lots and lots of money. Enough to satisfy any sane person.} {138}{}{What's the catch?} {139}{}{I don't need money.} {140}{}{You're back, eh? You want to know about that treasure, kid?} {141}{}{'Es!} {142}{}{Nuh-uh.} {143}{}{What kind of treasure is it?} {144}{}{Yeah, tell me.} {145}{}{I had other questions for you first.} {146}{}{No.} {147}{}{Like what?} {148}{}{This is the Old Ghouls' Home?} {149}{}{You ever heard of a GECK?} {150}{}{Who are you?} {151}{}{Anything else you can tell me?} {152}{}{It's kind of a joke. There ain't any ghouls but old ghouls. We're all sterile, see, but we're incredibly long-lived. We're the first and last generation of ghouls. This is a place for those of us who just wanna rest for a while.} {153}{}{I see. I had other questions.} {154}{}{Got it. Bye.} {155}{}{I'm Typhon. Y'ever hear of Set? He used to run the old-time town of Necropolis. I'm his son. Got born before the radiation hit us, so I grew up mutated. Ain't never been any other way for me.} {156}{}{Tell me about Set.} {157}{}{Set? I heard he was a total bastard!} {158}{}{I see. I had other questions.} {159}{}{Got it. Bye.} {160}{}{Yep. Used to have some, but all the pure-strain humans stole 'em to make their own little Gardens of Eden. Vault City might be your best bet to find one. Either there or NCR to the south.} {161}{}{Damn. Okay, I had more questions.} {162}{}{Damn. Bye.} {163}{}{"Total bastard" would be a fine way to describe the old man. Being turned into a ghoul from the radiation didn't do much for his sense of humor or sense of authority, let me tell you. 'Course, it kinda screwed up everyone's brains. I think growing up ghoulie made it a little easier on me.} {164}{}{I see. I had other questions.} {165}{}{Thanks. Bye.} {166}{}{Well? Do you have my Cat's Paw magazine yet?} {167}{}{'Es. [give Cat's Paw to Typhon]} {168}{}{Nuh-uh.} {169}{}{Yup. Here you go. [give Cat's Paw to Typhon]} {170}{}{Not yet. I had other questions.} {171}{}{Nope.} {172}{}{Well, hurry it up! I'm an old, old ghoul, and I tell you, I gotta have relaxation! Now go, go, go!} {173}{}{-done-} {174}{}{Kid, that magazine stirred up the ol' juices, and I figure that for the sort of treasure I'm talkin', you can hunt me down a few more things. Go git me a blow-up doll. You can probably find one in New Reno.} {175}{}{Okey! Bye!} {176}{}{Nuh-uh!} {177}{}{Here go! [give Blow-Up Doll to Typhon]} {178}{}{All right. I had more questions.} {179}{}{All right. Bye.} {180}{}{Forget it.} {181}{}{Got it right here. [give Blow-Up Doll to Typhon]} {182}{}{This, kid, will hit the spot. Gimme a few hours and we'll talk more. Go on. [he eyes the doll lustfully]} {183}{}{-done-} {184}{}{Can't a guy get a little privacy! Git! Git! G'wan!} {185}{}{-done-} {186}{}{I'm all tuckered out now. Go get me some rotgut and we'll talk about the treasure. Phil the bartender should be able to take care o' that for you.} {187}{}{Rite! Bye!} {188}{}{No!} {189}{}{Take! [give Rotgut to Typhon]} {190}{}{Got it. Here you go. [give Rotgut to Typhon]} {191}{}{Is that going to be it?} {192}{}{All right. Bye.} {193}{}{Forget it.} {194}{}{I'll probably want... oh, one more thing. I'll tell you what it is when you get me my damn rotgut, all right?} {195}{}{Fine. I'll do it.} {196}{}{Forget it.} {197}{}{That really hit the spot, kid. I was gonna ask you for a plant, but hey, I'll give you a break.} {198}{}{'Ank you!} {199}{}{Thanks. I had other questions.} {200}{}{That's a bit vague, but thanks. See ya.} {201}{}{You find that treasure yet, kid?} {202}{}{Nuh uh.} {203}{}{Not yet.} {204}{}{Nope. I had some questions.} {205}{}{Nope. Bye.} {206}{}{Well, keep lookin'. You're bound to get it eventually.} {207}{}{Okay.} {208}{}{Guess so. Bye.} {209}{}{How's the treasure, kid?} {210}{}{Bad! Caps!} {211}{}{It was all bottlecaps! It's worthless!} {212}{}{Ha ha. Funny. I had some questions.} {213}{}{Forget it.} {214}{}{Poo! Bye.} {215}{}{What, they don't use caps as money anymore? You mean all that collectin' and hidin' and worryin' someone's gonna steal my stash was for nothing? God DAMMIT! Sorry to make you run around like that, kid. If I'd'a known...} {216}{}{'S okay. Bye!} {217}{}{Yeah, well, you made your last mistake, old ghoul. Time to die.} {218}{}{Suppose it could happen to anyone. I had some questions.} {219}{}{Yeah, yeah. Okay. Bye.} {220}{}{Guess it was an honest mistake. Bye.} {221}{}{Gud. Where munnee?} {222}{}{Gee, Typhon. You're so thoughtful. So, where's the cash?} {223}{}{All right. I remember stashing the cash somewhere downtown. It's been so many years, though, and the buildings have been built and rebuilt over and over, that I'm not sure exactly where it is. If it helps any, I remember thinkin' I should put it somewhere that wasn't likely to be torn down or plowed over. Somewhere indispensible, ya' know? Good luck to you.} {224}{}{You finally got Typhon to spill his guts about location of the hidden loot.}

{300}{}{But Hegel's dialectic doesn't account for...} {301}{}{Hegel, Hegel, Hegel! You're always on about Hegel!} {302}{}{So then the woman says, "That's not a rabbit, vicar!"} {303}{}{Ha ha ha ha!} {304}{}{And the first proton says, "Yeah, I'm positive!"} {305}{}{[groan] That's SO bad, I'm wilting.} {306}{}{It's not easy being green.} {307}{}{Tell me about it.} {308}{}{But it's completely apparent that this is a philosophical dead end!} {309}{}{That's only because you haven't examined all the ramifications of it. Now, if you...} {310}{}{You want some fruit?} {311}{}{Feed me, Seymour.} {312}{}{Brains...braaaaaains...sorry, old habit.} {313}{}{That's okay. I don't have one, remember?} {314}{}{Well, certainly manure works well, but there's nothing like a rotting corpse for compost.} {315}{}{So that's why you wanted to move over here! Easy pickings.} {316}{}{Let me tell you, there's nothing like a good fast run.} {317}{}{You really feel the wind through the wisps of your hair, yes?} {318}{}{I haven't pollinated in years!} {319}{}{Imagine being trapped in THIS body! No action! No action at all!} {320}{}{Maybe if you gave photosynthesis at chance...} {321}{}{I'm not responsible for my evolutionary roots, you green bastard!} {322}{}{Whoo-ee! I sure hope you can process methane!} {323}{}{My leaves! My poor leaves! Aaaaagh!} {324}{}{I like this place. I'm thinking of putting down roots here.} {325}{}{Okay, enough with the endless plant jokes, pal.} {326}{}{I wonder how my cousins in Arroyo are doing? I hope they're flourishing.} {327}{}{Of course they are! Unless some rat-bastard slaughters them all.} {328}{}{Well, I think I'll go open a door or something...} {329}{}{I think I have opposable thumb envy.} {330}{}{Not to go out on a limb here...} {331}{}{Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! No more plant jokes!} {332}{}{Check out the grains on that wheat stalk! Woo woo!} {333}{}{Down boy! I don't think your vacuoles can take it.} {334}{}{Want me to read you a story?} {335}{}{How about The Giving Tree? Jack and the Beanstalk? Catcher in the Rye?} {336}{}{A GECK? Yeah, there was a guy who...} {337}{}{Shhh! Shh! Someone's listening!} {338}{}{It's the great cycle of life, you see... life feeds on life feeds on life...} {339}{}{Uh huh. But YOU still eat manure. Sheesh... plant philosophy...} {340}{}{Can I play with your power armor someday?} {341}{}{You mean that old suit I keep in the closet? Tee hee...} {342}{}{Yeah, I've dabbled in cross-pollination.} {343}{}{Not that there's anything WRONG with that.}
 * 1) Typhon/Seymour Floats.