Black Mountain Radio

Black Mountain Radio is a radio station in Fallout: New Vegas. You can follow the signal to Black Mountain. It is run by Tabitha, who takes on the persona of Rhonda, interviewing herself as "Best Friend Tabitha". She describes various sects of the Super Mutant Population, talks of the short-comings of the human race, and the wonders of the Centaur. It is, for the most part, a propagandist station for the State of Utobitha.

Entering Tabitha's control room in the Crazy, Crazy, Crazy quest causes the station to permanently stop broadcasting and become static, even if you leave without killing her. In fact, even if you make peace with Tabitha by repairing Rhonda, the station still does not go away unless you enter the room.

News
(if Raul still imprisoned)

Rhonda: You're listening to Radio Free Utobitha, bringing truth to Ultobithians twenty-four hours a day! Welcome!

Tabitha: I am in control here!

Rhonda: That was today's and every day's extra special guest, Best Friend Tabitha, Supreme Commander of Utobitha and Wearer of the True Eyes!

Tabitha: I still miss you, Rhonda, after all these years...

Rhonda: Also joining us from his locked cell is Raul Tejada, master mechanic, who can be executed at any time! Hello, Raul, or should that be Hola?

Raul: Uh, either one works.

Tabitha: Today you die, Raul! I command it!

Rhonda: Ooh, Raul! Supreme Commander Tabitha says you die today! What's your reaction?

Raul: I going to obey Supreme Tabitha. Claro. Whatever she say. Just, I feel so bad...I die before I fixed her special robot.

Tabitha: (growls)

Rhonda: You're listening to UNC, the Utobithian News Channel, with breaking news! The execution of master mechanic Raul Tejada has again been commuted for a period of twenty-four hours, to allow time for important repairs!

Tabitha: Grrr, this time, you will get it done, Raul!

Rhonda: Joining us from his cell to comment on the situation is Raul Tejada! Raul?

Raul: Hi, Ta...uh, Rhonda.

Rhonda: What's your take on the situation?

Raul: All I want is to make this special robot work again. You know, I give it my best.

Rhonda: We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor, during which Raul will contemplate how LUCKY he is to be alive!

(while player sneaks through Black Mountain)

Rhonda: Welcome back, Utobitha! It's tiiime!

Tabitha: Time for what, Rhonda?

Rhonda: True Eye Seeing Time! I see that you're already wearing your true eyes, Best Friend Tabitha, along with your head of true hair! What do you see?

Tabitha: Uhh, I see Neil!

Rhonda: First-generation Neil from down the mountain?! Oh, and what is he up to?

Tabitha: Standing outside his shack down there!

Rhonda: In the same spot as before, or has he moved?

Tabitha: A little!

Rhonda: Wow! It must be so exciting to see and know all! What a powerful reminder of your ULTIMATE AUTHORITY and power for our listeners!

Tabitha: I see Moe!

Rhonda: Moe the centaur?! Favorite centaur Moe? What's he up to?

Tabitha: Licking the gate! Wants out of the pen!

Rhonda: Now, I'm almost afraid to ask, but do you see any...you know...threats out there?

Tabitha: Threats all around us! Converging, like a noose! Tightening! Two-head bear people astride battle cattles!

Rhonda: Not the dreaded battle cattle training to hunt mutants! Would it be going too far to say that your gift of true eyesight is the only thing saving our community from annihilation? Because I think it's so important for everyone, even the dumb-dumbs to know, how impossible it is to SNEAK UP ON US! More after this!

Know Your Mutants
Rhonda: Welcome to another episode of Know Your Mutants! Special guest star, Best Friend Tabitha, is with us in the studio to share her insights on this topic that affects us all!

Tabitha: Thank you, Rhonda! Today, I'd like to talk about a subject near and dear to my heart: the Nightkin!

Rhonda: Ooh, you must know a lot about the Nightkin, Best Friend Tabitha, seeing as how you are one!

Tabitha: That's true, Rhonda! I am in a unique position to speak to the natural SUPERIORITY of my kind! Our story begins, as most stories do, with the Master! Our glorious leader had created the super mutants, but something nagged at him. "I can do better," he must have said to himself. And boy, did he ever! A new type of super mutant was created &mdash; stronger, faster, smarter, more dangerous in every way! We were to normal super mutants what they were to humans, and they were told to defer to us in all things!

Rhonda: And you're the leader of all the Nightkin, correct?

Tabitha: Yes! As the highest ranking Nightkin alive, my voice speaks for all nightkin everywhere, ever!

Rhonda: Which is why all super mutants should do what you say, right?

Tabitha: That's right! My position of supreme authority MUST NEVER BE QUESTIONED!

Rhonda: One last thing. Is there any truth to the rumor that all Nightkin are slightly crazy from their overuse of psychologically damaging pre-War technology?

Tabitha: None at all, Rhonda!

Rhonda: There you have it, Utobitha! Nightkin, your benevolent overlords, who are most certainly...NOT crazy! We'll be back after this.

Rhonda: Welcome, Utobitha, to another episode of Know Your Mutants! Today, we're proud to have Best Friend Tabitha with us! Welcome to the show!

Tabitha: Good to be here, Rhonda. You look good.

Rhonda: So what type of mutant did you want to talk about this time, Best Friend Tabitha?

Tabitha: I thought I'd briefly talk about first-generation super mutants, Rhonda!

Rhonda: Ooh, what can you tell us about them?

Tabitha: What we call the first generation of super mutants, Rhonda, were actually created by the Master himself! Like everything the Master took a direct hand in, they were better than the ones who came later, the ones made by accident. They were smarter, almost as smart as Nightkin, and were able to think and act for themselves! However, the first generation seems to have some kind of suicidal urge that they can't control!

Rhonda: How terrible! What makes you say that, Best Friend Tabitha?

Tabitha: So far, all first-generation super mutants that have come to Utobitha have left not soon after!

Rhonda: How strange! Why would anyone leave the safety and comfort that Utobitha provides?

Tabitha: Why indeed, Rhonda! But now there's not a single first-generation super mutant in Utobitha!

Rhonda: Except Neil!

Tabitha: EXCEPT NEIL!

Rhonda: Well! I think we've learned something today! Let's go to the music...

Rhonda: You're listening to another edition of Know Your Mutants, with Best Friend Tabitha! So, Best Friend Tabitha, who will we learn about today?

Tabitha: Uhh, guess it's time we talked about the dumb-dumbs!

Rhonda: Oh, you mean the second-generation super mutants, WHO AREN'T SO BRIGHT?!

Tabitha: That's them! Dumb-dumbs! Uhh... that is, they...

Rhonda: They're very big! And strong!

Tabitha: Yes! They're just as big as other mutants, and as strong as they look. Beyond that, uhm...

Rhonda: And there's a lot of them!

Tabitha: Oh, yeah. Dumb-dumbs are the most common type of mutant that most travelers will encounter, and make up more than half the mutants here in Utobitha.

Rhonda: Best Friend Tabitha, some of our listeners may wonder how you can call them dumb-dumbs on the air like this!

Tabitha: That's a good question, Rhonda!

Rhonda: Thank you!

Tabitha: The truth is, they're so dumb they don't even know that I'm talking about them right now!

Rhonda: And that's another revealing look at mutant-kind. Second-generation super mutants: big, numerous... DUMB! More after this.

Advertisements
Tabitha: Are you tired of getting chased because you're bigger than humans and scaring them? Did you kill some, and they overreacted? Are two-head bear people shooting at you, and battle cattle mooing? Beware the battle cattle!

Rhonda: Leave the fear behind!

Tabitha: Leave the fear behind! Meet at the mountaintop! Enjoy life in the State of Utobitha, free, safe, secure!

Rhonda: (quickly) Freedom limited to following the commands of Best Friend Tabitha. Safety not guaranteed against siege or assault by two-head bear people or battle cattles. Many infractions are punishable by death, no allowances for dumb-dumb misunderstandings!

Tabitha: Utobitha! Come feel the difference!

Tabitha: Do you remember the good old days, where the Master ruled over us all?

Rhonda: When his gentle, compelling, and yet oddly insistent voice crawled through your mind, and told you exactly what to do?

Tabitha: Do you miss a time when you didn't have to think for yourself, and enjoyed lazy days of following the BELLOWED COMMANDS of others?!

Rhonda: Those days can be yours again! For Best Friend Tabitha, the esteemed leader of the State of Utolbitha, is here...to tell you what to do!

Tabitha: THAT'S RIGHT! I, Tabitha, will take on the BURDEN of your OBEDIENCE!

Rhonda: (quickly) Acceptance into Utobitha pending Best Friend Tabitha's approval. Best Friend Tabitha reserves the right to turn down applicants for any reason, including whimsy or boredom. Acceptance into Utobitha open to mutants only. Former human servants of the Master conditionally accepted for purposes of centaur-feeding duties. Dismemberment may occur.

Tabitha: Utobitha! Come! Take a load off your mind!

Public service announcements
Rhonda: Welcome back, Utobitha! I have with me Best Friend Tabitha, who has something important she'd like to share!

Tabitha: Well, Rhonda, I'm a little concerned about the number of humans that keep coming to Black Mountain!

Rhonda: Humans? Here?! Oh, why do you think they do that?

Tabitha: Honestly, I think they're a little jealous of the ideal society we've built here, Rhonda! And I can't blame them! We have everything we need here - food, shelter, safety, entertainment! It really is a paradise!

Rhonda: There's no arguing with the truth, is there?

Tabitha: But humans need to be aware that Black Mountain is no place for them! In fact, it's even dangerous for them here!

Rhonda: (gasp) Why is that?!

Tabitha: First of all, there's the radiation! That warm peaceful glow that we all know and love doesn't have the same effect on humans! You see, humans are weak, and have an inherent defect that causes them to fall apart when exposed to radiation!

Rhonda: That sounds terrible! How do they stand it? Radiation's, like, everywhere!

Tabitha: I know! They truly have a hard lot in life, which may explain why they're so irritable all the time!

Rhonda: I don't know about you, Utobitha, but my eyes have really been opened! We'll be back after some music!

Rhonda: We're back, with Best Friend Tabitha, who was telling us why humans should STAY THE HELL AWAY!...uh, keep their distance from the State of Utobitha!

Tabitha: Thank you, Rhonda! That's a good point. As you know, one of the many benefits of living in Utolbitha is the ready availability of pet centaurs!

Rhonda: Ooh, I love the centaurs! They're just so cute!

Tabitha: Exactly, Rhonda! Who could resist those sweet little faces, and that cute way they shuffle around on all those hands they have! Haha! But humans must be so caught up with their pleasant features that they forget the most important thing about centaurs!

Rhonda: And what might that be, Best Friend Tabitha?

Tabitha: Centaurs...EAT...HUMANS, Rhonda! You see, humans are a lot smaller and much more tender than you or I! So centaurs naturally see them as food!

Rhonda: Ahh, that would make it hard for them to get along, wouldn't it?

Tabitha: Indeed! Given the situation, I had to make a hard choice when I created Utobitha! Do we invite weak, greedy humans, who would just die anyway, or cute, lovable centaurs, who fight and die for us and ask nothing in return?! After much deliberation, I went with the centaurs.

Rhonda: And there you have it, Utobitha! The next time you play with a huggable, lovable centaur, remember that Best Friend Tabitha made it all possible!

Rhonda: We're here once again with our beloved leader, Best Friend Tabitha! Why don't you tell our listeners what you just told me?

Tabitha: I was just saying that I think there's a fundamental misunderstanding about the mutants here in the State of Utobitha!

Rhonda: And what would that be?

Tabitha: I believe that the mutants here are generally considered to dislike humans, and nothing could be further from the truth! During their stay here, mutants are taught to tolerate and even accept the existence of inferior, frail creatures, humans included!

Rhonda: Ooh, how insightful! So then, how do you think this misunderstanding came about?

Tabitha: My guess is that it has something to do with the fact that every mutant in the State of Utobitha has been given explicit orders regarding security! Those orders naturally include shooting humans on sight, or pounding them with whatever happens to be handy (guns being in short supply you see!). As I've explained, there are numerous dangers to humans here, and we have a duty to drive them away! It's for their own good, really!

Rhonda: Makes sense to me! And the silly humans think we don't care. For shame! Stick around, Utobitha, for more... after this!

Rhonda: Utobitha, I'm here with Best Friend Tabitha, who has a message for all the dumb-dumbs out there!

Tabitha: It has come to my attention that some of you dumb-dumbs took me a little too seriously in the past, when I warned you about the battle cattle! While battle cattle are indeed a dangerous foe, they are one that should be fought ferociously! Recently, I've heard about several incidents where some of you have been running away from a fight where battle cattle were involved! THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! No self-respecting soldier of Utobitha should EVER be seen running like a scared little human! GRRAAH! I don't even know why I try! It's not like the dumb-dumbs are even going to understand this!

Rhonda: You heard her, Utobitha! Beware the battle cattle &mdash; but don't fear the battle cattle! More after this.

Songs

 * "Big Iron"
 * "Goin' Under"
 * "Heartaches by the Number"
 * "I'm Movin' Out"
 * "I'm So Blue"
 * "In The Shadow Of The Valley"
 * "It's a Sin"
 * "It's a Sin to Tell a Lie"
 * "Johnny Guitar"
 * "Let's Ride Into the Sunset Together"
 * "Lone Star"
 * "Stars of the Midnight Range"

Instrumentals

 * "Happy Times"
 * "Lazy Day Blues"
 * "Roundhouse Rock"

Appearances
Black Mountain Radio appears in Fallout: New Vegas.