QCBIRD.MSG

Dialogue for Daniel Bird, vice-president of the Enclave

{100}{}{You see a small nervous-looking man.} {101}{}{You see Vice-President Bird.} {102}{}{You see a small nervous-looking man, wearing a food-stained suit.} {103}{}{Here are some of our gallant troopers. What are you doing in the Vice-President's office?} {104}{}{Hello, trooper. What are you doing in the Vice-President's office?} {105}{}{You look familiar. Have I spoken with you before? Well, no matter. Just what are you doing in the Vice-President's office?} {106}{}{The what?} {107}{}{Uh, I'm just on a routine patrol, uh, Sir.} {108}{}{I'm looking for intruders.} {109}{}{I'm just here to double-check on our secret plans.} {110}{}{I'm here to kill you.} {111}{}{Carry on then, trooper. Carry on. You lads are doing a great service. We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.} {112}{}{Huh?} {113}{}{Uh, yes. Well, I better complete my patrol. Goodbye.} {114}{}{Hmm, tell me, how do you spell potato? With an 'E,' or without?} {115}{}{Hmm, tell me, how do you spell subtle? With a 'B,' or without?} {116}{}{Hmm, tell me, how do you spell California? With a 'K,' or without?} {117}{}{Hmm, tell me, how do you spell tomato? With an 'E,' or without?} {118}{}{Hmm, tell me, how do you spell psycho? With a 'P,' or without?} {119}{}{Uh, with.} {120}{}{Without, of course.} {121}{}{Of course you do, of course. Any loyal citizen of these great United States would do the same.} {122}{}{Why is that?} {123}{}{I've got work to do. Goodbye.} {124}{}{Carry on, trooper. The future will be better tomorrow.} {125}{}{What do you mean by that?} {126}{}{Not for you it won't. I'm exterminating all pompous slugs in the Enclave and you're next.} {127}{}{Uh, yeah. Whatever. Goodbye.} {128}{}{We have to work together because if we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.} {129}{}{Maybe your failure wouldn't be such a bad thing.} {130}{}{Well, I better be going now.} {131}{}{You won't get away with it.} {132}{}{We'll just see about that.} {133}{}{Why not? } {134}{}{One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Vice President, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'} {135}{}{Just what are you prepared for?} {136}{}{Isn't that three words? 'Preparedness' is one word. Isn't that what you meant?} {137}{}{Perhaps that's best. Keep it brief. After all, verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.} {138}{}{Imagine that.} {139}{}{I need to leave now. Goodbye.} {140}{}{I mean that we don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.} {141}{}{Isn't that the only way to go?} {142}{}{Well you can't be too careful, after all, people that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.} {143}{}{Yes, I can see that.} {144}{}{What impact are you planning to have on history?} {145}{}{Yes, I like that direction. I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future. So, by all means, let's go in that direction.} {146}{}{Uh, yes.} {147}{}{I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.} {148}{}{The polluted environment of the Wastes could use a little freedom for a change.} {149}{}{I can't take it any more. You've just got to be killed.} {150}{}{Don't be silly. It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.} {151}{}{I really have to be going.} {152}{}{You wouldn't be so flippant about it if you were on the mainland.} {153}{}{Well, that's just the thing. The Enclave is a man-made island surrounded by water.} {154}{}{You think you're immune to what happens here. You're stuck on the same planet with the rest of us.} {155}{}{Did you forget to add something to that statement? Like a point.} {156}{}{I'm Vice-President Daniel Bird. Damn glad to meet you.} {157}{}{You're just another part of the whole problem here.} {158}{}{You're a nutcase.} {159}{}{I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.} {160}{}{Like I said, part of the problem.} {161}{}{Ah, I see. Well, as you may know, I've long thought that it's time for the human race to enter the solar system.} {162}{}{Aren't we all ready in the. Uh, to go *where*?} {163}{}{How would we do that?} {164}{}{I think that maybe Mars would be nice because Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.} {165}{}{I didn't expect such a, uh, *complete* answer.} {166}{}{You've lost your mind.} {167}{}{What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.} {168}{}{I'd say it's *usually* a waste. But, in your case I'm willing to make an exception.} {169}{}{What the hell did you just say?} {170}{}{That's it. I've wasted enough time. Goodbye.} {171}{}{For NASA, space is still a high priority.} {172}{}{I see, and where would we be going then?} {173}{}{That's not true, Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child. That's the key to the solution of all our problems-we need a return to family values.} {174}{}{What you and the Enclave are up to has nothing to do with family values.} {175}{}{I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.} {176}{}{Don't you understand, you'll create another holocaust if you continue.} {177}{}{You're quite mad. You do realize that don't you?} {178}{}{The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.} {179}{}{You're a flipping loony.} {180}{}{Someone's got to put you out of my misery. Say your prayers, Bird.} {181}{}{I've got to get out of here.} {182}{}{P-O-T-A-T-O-E} {183}{}{P-O-T-A-T-O} {184}{}{T-O-M-A-T-O-E} {185}{}{T-O-M-A-T-O} {186}{}{Where did my two gallons of strawberry ice-cream go?} {187}{}{The Caine is my ship. Mine, do you here me?} {188}{}{You're all against me, aren't you? Aren't you?} {189}{}{Fast as fast can be, they won't catch me.} {190}{}{Pretty, pretty.} {191}{}{Shiny.} {192}{}{No, mommy, I didn't do it. Don't hit me again!} {193}{}{Mother! Where are you mother?} {194}{}{I don't want to be the patient this time.} {195}{}{No, not the needles, anything but the needles.} {196}{}{No, no, uh-uh, no. Nooooo!}